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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Taking Control of My Appetite!

First year of college was an awful experience. I had just graduated high school and been admitted to my university through the skin of my teeth (since my grades were C's, D's, and an F). I lived in a dorm that was notorious for partying and being a loud area. I didn't really like any of my classes and stressed myself out by working too much. AND I was overweight and not confident in my appearances so I avoided any social interaction whenever possible.

It was a seriously bad time for me. By the time I came home the summer after my first year? I weighed more than 200 lbs. Scary, scary thought.

I used to be able to eat an entire small pizza and ten pieces of chicken from Dominos by myself during freshman year of college. JUST ME. And here's the even crazier part. I would be full after the third or fourth slice. So full that my stomach felt stuffed to the brim. But I kept eating. Even if my stomach started to hurt, I would just keep shoving food into my mouth. After I noticed just how much I was forcing myself to consume, I realized there was a huge problem.

When I came back for my second year of college, I knew something had to change. I couldn't just keep allowing myself to eat so poorly and punish my body this way. I started to exercise five times a week. Did this for almost the entire school year but for some reason, I didn't lose any weight.

That's when I really got it. I had to be serious and realize, what you eat is more important than how much you exercise. You could exercise everyday and work your ass off but if you fill your body with shitty food? There will be no change.

So for my third year of college--this year--I've been careful of my diet. I pick healthier choices by incorporating more veggies into my meals. I avoid the pizza and pasta as much as possible. I drink water and milk only as I avoid all other sugary drinks. I eat less and listen to my body. When my body says stop, I stop.


That picture above is half of what I used to eat back in my first year. I knew that while I was eating, I could stop. And I did. I threw all of that away in the trash and opened a window to air out the smell. I've lost 10 lbs so far. I've been working hard for six weeks and I don't want to completely mess it up. I know that there will be days when I will binge. But the level of binging has significantly gone down. I don't feel miserable because I'm not forcing myself to eat. I stop when I feel pretty full and throw away the rest to eliminate it as a temptation for later.

I know this may not sound like much to someone who has never been overweight or binged before but I am proud of myself. I am proud of the progress I am making. It just blows my mind how much I'm improving. Eventually, I'd like to make it so that I won't have to eat Dominos at all.

My first goal is to reach 200 lbs by November 5th. I hope I can reach that goal. Last week I was at 203 lbs and I don't know what this week will be like but starting tomorrow I'm going to kick ass so I can reach the first goal.

Never give up. Never will give up. Always have faith and push through the hard times.

<3

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